Time Didn’t Heal Me—But This Did
What time didn’t heal in the aftermath of my narcissistic mother’s abuse
I resented every wasted decade I’d spent under her control. I couldn’t believe how long I’d stayed lost in her chaos, how long I’d clung to survival mode without even knowing that’s what it was.
I thought: Surely healing would just unfold now that she’s gone. Surely time would do its thing (you know, as in time heals all wounds).
But nothing changed until I did.
The moment healing started, and it wasn’t because of time
I had to stop passively waiting for the pain to leave. I had to step in.
I began reading books, listening to teachers, exploring spirituality—and implementing what resonated.
That’s when something shifted.
That’s when I started actively healing from the damage my narcissistic mother left behind.
(📖 Want to know the three books that had the biggest impact on my healing? 3 Books That Impacted My Healing Journey: A Spiritual Booklist for Healing and Transformation)
Relearning time as a partner, not a healer
Eventually, time became something I worked with, not something I blamed. When I showed up—really showed up—for the work of healing after maternal narcissistic abuse, time finally started helping me.
But it never led. I did.
It was never just the passage of time that softened the pain. It was the small, uncomfortable, empowering, beautiful things I chose to do with the time I had:
I sat with challenging emotions instead of pushing them down, even if it meant crying about something that happened decades ago when I was a child or teenager. There is no shame in ugly crying—tears felt very cleansing and relieving during this process.
I explored my spirituality, feeding my soul in ways that felt deeply personal and transformative
I reached beyond conventional healing approaches and leaned into what truly worked for me.
And when I look back over the past couple of years, I don’t just see pain anymore.
I allow myself to see progress.
I allow myself to see the proof of my resilience.
I allow myself to see a life that is mine to build—not one stolen by my past.
What healing taught me that time never could
If you feel like time is dragging you through the aftermath of a narcissistic mother, I get it. But healing doesn’t ride in on a clock. It begins when you do something—anything—that says, I matter now.
That’s when the real healing begins.
That’s what helped me.
And that’s what can help you, too.
To rewriting your story with love and belief,
Carole