About Carole

But what you can’t see is the fear.

I was petrified of my mother!

She didn’t just intimidate me—she overpowered me.

I walked on eggshells so fragile they might as well have been glass.

I learned early that love was conditional, that silence was safer than speaking, and that no matter how small I made myself it would never be small enough.

I carried that fear with me long after childhood.

It shaped the way I saw myself, the way I moved through the world, and the way I let my beliefs control me without even realizing it.

December 20, 2020: the discovery that changed everything

At 53 years old, I finally put the pieces together: my mother was a cruel narcissist (do the math—it took me over 50 years to accept that she was abusive and that she was abusing me).

Eight months later, she was dead.

And just like that, I was thrown into a kind of grief no one prepares you for.

The world tells you that when a mother dies, grief is sadness.

But when the mother was a mean, cruel narcissist? Grief is something else entirely!

I thought I’d feel free.

Instead, I was completely unmoored:

• her voice still lived in my head

• I was terrified she could still hurt me from the grave

• the fear, the shame, the exhaustion—it all got worse!

And I realized something crucial: I spent my entire life surviving her.

I had no idea how to live without her! WTF?!?

The death of a narcissistic mother doesn’t erase her control—it often intensifies the reckoning.

The turning point in my healing: I hired a psychic medium for six months

The world didn’t have answers for what I was experiencing, so I went looking for my own.

I did something that most people would never dare to do—I reached out to her spirit.

For six months, I worked with a psychic medium. I spent thousands of dollars on this because I needed real-time, unrestricted access to her abilities.

This wasn’t some random one-time reading—I had a psychic medium in my back pocket full-time for six months.

I didn’t do this for forgiveness.

I did it for understanding.

For truth.

And what I learned during our multiple channeling sessions shattered everything I thought I knew:

• my inner child sobbed

• my body physically reacted to the messages that come through from the other side

• I finally started to understand why my mother was way she was.

And most importantly?

I learned how to reconstruct myself—on my own terms in the aftermath of maternal narcissistic abuse.

Why I created The Weight of Belief

The Weight of Belief was born from the grief and silence that followed my narcissistic mother’s death—and my fight to reclaim myself from what she left behind.

I had to fight for my freedom—even after she died.

No one prepared me for this. No therapist. No book. No grief counselor.

The world had no blueprint for what happens when an abusive mother dies. So I built my own.

The Weight of Belief isn’t about prescribing how to heal.

Rather, it’s about sharing what I discovered so that you can find your own way forward.

My experience is a springboard, not a set of instructions.

If your narcissistic mother is still alive and you feel like you’re drowning in fear of what’s coming… you are not alone.

If she is already gone, and you feel like you should be free but aren’t… you are not alone.

If you don’t even know who you are without her and it terrifies you… you are not alone.

If your narc mother is still alive and you’re curious about what to expect when she passes, you are welcome here.

TWOB is what no one tells you about life after she’s gone.

I created The Weight of Belief to be the resource I desperately needed when I was trapped in The Hollow Passage.

This isn’t about survival anymore. This is about self-reconstruction.

Whether you’re grieving her death or bracing for it, this space is here to help you reconstruct your identity after narcissistic-mother trauma.

Where to start

If you’re new here, I recommend:

 Start Here – Get an overview of The Weight of Belief and explore the TWOB framework.

The Hollow Passage – Read about my unexpected grief following my narcissistic mother’s death.

The Conversations We Never Had – Read the full-length transcripts of the real, unfiltered messages I received from my mother’s spirit, my father’s spirit, Jeshua ben Joseph, The Divine Feminine, my soul, and my spirit guides. Transcripts of nine full sessions with my real-time reactions included.

Work With Me – Book a peer-to-peer support session if you need someone who understands what you’re going through. This is not a therapy session and I am not a therapist. I highly recommend therapy with a parental-narcissistic informed therapist.

My Healing Blog — where I write about the healing journey I’ve been on with hopes it’ll help someone like you.

Final thoughts

I don’t have all the answers.

But I do know this: you are not broken. You never were.

And if you’re ready to start reconstructing the life you were meant to have—I’m right here as your springboard.

Healing after narcissistic mother loss doesn’t begin with answers—it begins with truth.

Welcome to The Weight of Belief.